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REVIEW: Transformers: Age Of Extinction

The  main difference between this “Transformers” movie from the previous 3:  the human players are different.  This 3-D’er is louder , longer, and , if you can believe, even worse than  the Shia Labeouf  predecessors . We’re talking more than 2-and-a-half hours long.  Seriously???? 

The climactic battle scene last over an hour. I wish I had timed it.  I got so bored during the endless final battle, I started counting product placements: Red Bull; Budweiser: Vogue; Victoria’s Secret; and  Hong Kong Tourism.  I’m sure I missed a few. I think there was more concern for product placement than plot.

Mark Wahlberg  gets to play protective  dad  to Nicola Peltz , a Tara Reid lookalike who stars on “Bates Motel”.  Kelsey Grammer is the CIA director, who just happens to be on the scene during the epic battle.  Talk about micro-managing!!! Stanley Tucci has the most fun and the best lines , which isn’t saying much because the dialogue is beyond bad.

Michael Bay’s treatment of women is appalling. One scene is a direct steal from the Robert Palmer video “Addicted To Love”- tight black dresses and all. I expected them to break out in song.

Bay’s motto seems to be Bigger!!! Longer!!!! Louder!!! Hmm.  Sounds like  porn . Come to think of it , this movie IS popcorn movie porn.  “Transformers: Age Of Extinction”???  If only .  But extinction is not in this franchise’s future .  I hear two more  are on the way. Next time, I’m bringing the earplugs. 

½ star




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